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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26902246">Lone wolf</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/spinhell/pseuds/spinhell'>spinhell</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Popee the Performer (Anime)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Internal Monologue, One Shot, POV Kedamono, Short One Shot</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 23:09:07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>862</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26902246</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/spinhell/pseuds/spinhell</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Kedamono absolutely wants to quit the circus, he is ready to abandon Popee and everything he has built here.<br/>He can't stand Popee and his daily bullshit anymore but at the same time he is scared to hurt his feelings.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>19</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Lone wolf</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Why did I leave the temple ? There I had a stability, I was no longer an animal I finally felt civilized…</p>
<p>I literally traded and lost my faith to live in this hell. </p>
<p>I didn't know what awaited me, no, WHO awaited me. </p>
<p>In this hell, I lost everything, my trust, my belief and finally my humanity. A humanity that I took so long to acquire, I had to let go of my animosity, I was so proud of it.</p>
<p>He ruined everything. </p>
<p>When I stepped on my feet in this barren wasteland, I thought I could hold on to something. It is certainly something to feel human, but to feel alive is even better. I wanted to feel something, life in the temple gave me a boring everyday life... which now seems to me to be a paradise that I have denigrated.</p>
<p>And for whom did I give it all up? For an old man who promised me fame and glory. But that's not the problem. No, he was only the door that was going to introduce me to this living hell. </p>
<p>I thought that the heat of the desert would be the most painful. </p>
<p>The living hell in question is called Popee. He's a human, unlike me, but sometimes I wonder who the beast here. </p>
<p>When I met him, I saw him as a person who was motivated and passionate about the art of performance. But over time his anger got the better of him and he couldn't hide his dark low instincts. In fact, I wasn't the only one who was promised fame. </p>
<p>This promise had gone to his head, he can't think straight because of this. He would do anything to achieve what the old man who served as his father had promised him. </p>
<p>To the point where, he beat me. Yes, he physically hurt me. But why ? Well, for a dumb reason : </p>
<p>I was better than him at performing.</p>
<p>But I understand him, somehow, and why he wants to hurt me so much. </p>
<p>Understand, I enter his life. <br/>I showed him that there was better than him. <br/>Better than him in his field, in everything that made up his life. <br/>I put him down in his own passion. <br/>I flouted all his hopes of being the best in his own circus, in his own home.</p>
<p>When I realized that, I realize my place wasn’t here. Maybe the boring life at the temple was modeled for me. </p>
<p>If I stay here I would suffer again and again. His father would encourage me to stay by telling me that the public adores me, that I am the most talented, that I am the star of the circus. After all, we didn't nickname the circus "Worf Zirkus" for nothing. </p>
<p>His description of myself would perfectly describes everything Popee wishes to be. Actually, Popee's father would not hesitate once to hurt his own son's feelings and pride in order for me to stay. </p>
<p>In fact… despite being treated like a victim, I feel like a jerk because of that. <br/>Despite being a jerk, I feel like it should be Popee’s place to taste glory. This is all he wants, nothing else. All I basically wanted is to feel human, but being treated like his pet and a beast takes me away from my goal. I no longer feel anything for this circus, for my friend, for the father of Popee…<br/>For the public. </p>
<p>Because of my talents, everyone loves me. The glory is mine and it crushes me. Because of it, he hates me more and more. I taste the glory so promised but it tastes bad.</p>
<p>This popularity imbalance plagues our relationship.</p>
<p>Popee is like a rollercoaster, he can be really kind and calm. But as soon, I exceed him by only one millimeter, he goes simply apeshit. </p>
<p>It might be a shitty metaphor but I’m tired of him. I just want to jump from the wagon. </p>
<p>But what if I leave him ? Surprisingly, he would also go crazy. Despite making my life a hell, he cares about me. </p>
<p>I'm somehow the one who spices up his life. I bring back the challenge, I am his competitor. <br/>Plus, I am the one who managed to get him out of his little world of narcissism and who succeeds in him questioning about his superiority over others.</p>
<p>But I’m also the only one who talks to him, apart from his father. I am his only friendly relationship. </p>
<p>But in reality, I'm not his friend, he thinks we are, as if everything he's doing to me doesn't exist. For my part, time goes by, the more violence follows, the more I lose my connection that I had at the beginning with him.He is the reason why I want to leave. </p>
<p>If I leave, he will suffer. But what if this is what he deserves ?</p>
<p>This would be the ultimate revenge. </p>
<p>Should I leave ? I want him to suffer but I don’t want to be an animal again. I don’t know what to do. </p>
<p>So I just packed my stuffs, wishing that I have the guts to go. </p>
<p>… </p>
<p>…</p>
<p>…</p>
<p>…</p>
<p>…</p>
<p>… </p>
<p>...</p>
<p>...</p>
<p>...</p>
<p>...</p>
<p>Where should I go first ?</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thanks for reading, hope you enjoyed it. Sorry for the few mistakes I'm not an English speaker</p>
<p>My twitter if you wanna talk : @spin3l_</p></blockquote></div></div>
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